So I am done with the black. Although I am very proud of myself, not once have I cheated. This entire Lenten season I have stuck to my practice. All black, no fixing hair, no jewelry, no make-up. And only 6 days to go!
If you read this blog than you know that this whole spiritual practice has been a good, dare I say, great one for me. But there are a few reasons I would like it to end.
First, I am tired of doing laundry all the time. Part of the deal is that I would not buy anything new for this endeavor, and like most women, I have quite a lot of black in my closet. However, I do have to do laundry at least twice a week to have enough pants and shirts to make it through.
Second, I feel like I am going to a funeral everyday. Need I say more?
But last and certainly not least, is the fact that black shows everything. I have a dog who sheds and two little kids, and I spend more time with a lint brush than anything else. Which got me thinking- Do I really want to give up the black because I want to go back into hiding?
The black has been exposing, in more ways than I thought. I really don’t think about what I wear (except if it’s clean) and I have a ton of time in the morning not fixing my hair, face, etc. Why would I want to give all that up?
I try to live my life in an authentic way, but until this lenten practice I did not realize how much of myself I kept reserved, how much of my personality and well, dirt, I kept hidden. But the black, it shows everything. I have to put myself out there, I have to initiate, make first contact, and really, I have enjoyed it.
But I am also eager to return to “normal”, as long as there is a new normal, one with exposure and reserve, one where I nurture all sides of myself, outgoing and private. We’ll see how it goes on Easter Morning.