It would be a lot easier, God, if you just told me-
Who you want me to be.
Or is that what this is? This wrestling.
I want to be the one who gets acclamation and praise,
You call me to be the person those people rely on.
I want to write the book that revolutionizes the way we think and feel about you,
You call me to be the one who wrestles with them through the theories behind the publication.
I want to be the one who writes and sings the songs on stage,
you call me to sit with the one in the depth of their experience.
I want a lot of things.
You call me by name.
“I thought faith would say, I’ll take away the pain and discomfort, but what it ended up saying was, I’ll sit with you in it.”*
Sit with me, God.
Sit with me and hold me in the midst of all my wanting.
* Quote from Brene Brown