When Will People Cease Their Fighting?

I am heartbroken. Again.


I walked by the news stand yesterday and there it was, we are sending troops to Iraq. Again. Schools shootings are all over the news. Again. I can no longer stand for it, yet I am helpless. I am enraged, yet, paralyzed; stuck in a perpetual state of confusion and anger over this world. Over the state of our souls. What causes such brokenness in ourselves?

When will people cease their fighting?

In a moment of the news yesterday I heard a man say, “it’s in our interest.” What does that mean?

What part of my interest is worth stripping an innocent life of safety? Of threatening violence? This is not just about going to war, again, about school shootings, again. This has been the struggle since the beginning of time. There is a war within us. A separation of the divine love that somewhere, somehow we were told/taught/chose to ignore.

It happened at our first betrayal. The first time we were shown “I am more important than you. My interests are more important than yours.”

I need God to work harder on us, and I need us to work harder. There is so much pain and fighting with our souls. We go inward and self hate, and when we have beaten ourselves senseless we go outward and hurt others.

“Dear God,” my prayer starts and then a pause, “How dare you allow this to happen!” I scream.

My gut says that God would scream back and say, “how dare you…” but then again maybe God would not react so defensively. Maybe God would caress my face in the midst of my anger and say, “I’m sorry this is happening to you, to those around you, to the world. I am here in the midst of the pain, in the midst of the betrayal.”

I believe this about God-yet every fiber wants to yell expletives. “Yeah, you are here in the midst of the pain and the struggle? You are in the abyss? You are in the war? Well then fuck you.”

St. John of the Cross once wrote, “With all humility I say, it is God who should ask for forgiveness, not we, God. Someday you will know this. A saint could explain.”

Have we lost our humanity? Or more importantly our divinity? What say you God? When will people cease their fighting?

I am heartbroken. Again.

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