So I’ve been thinking about this concept about getting yourself on a “right relationship” with God. What does that mean? I hate to say it, but the definition is kind of the same as it is for porn, no one knows, but we all know it when we see it. (BTW- I have never understood not being able to define pornography, it seems pretty obvious, but back to God.)
When I meet someone who is wholeheartedly in tune with who they are, who God is in their lives, and knows the struggles, ebbs and flows of spiritual lives I can see it a mile away. Actually, I can feel it a mile away. I am going to be so bold as to say I am one of these people, some or dare I say, most? of the time. That is not a statement of ego, but an understanding of exploration in my life.
I ache to pray each day and I cannot stand it when “life gets in the way” or I am going through a time where I have convinced myself that my prayer life is not “important right now”. There is a physical need, a hunger, a longing to worship my God and creator, to pay homage to her with my life, to understand him more fully, and to never, ever feel without their presence.
But I do have issues. You remember the woman that Ellen DeGenerous called who “loved Jesus, but drank a little” (if you haven’t seen it, prepare yourself for the greatest thing ever… watch it here- starts around minute 2). Anyway, I am confident in my spirituality, I don’t have it figured out but I love Jesus, I love who God created me to be, and I try as best as my broken self can to follow the call and will of God.
All that being said, perfection is far from my description. I have broken relationships with people, there are things that I get on myself about, a “shame tape” that plays in my head. I struggle with my weight, with being vulnerable, with anxiety, that people won’t like me. All the normal things.
When I was in high school I was told that if I were right with God all these other things would fall into place. A friend worked through her issues with her mom and dropped her weight, others got over their “disorders” when they had a profound experience of God in their lives. But as I was thinking about this the other day I realized how unhealthy this style of thinking was. It seemed to be just another thread of Prosperity Theology.
You know prosperity theology, prosperity preaching. If you give money to the church God will bless you with a fancy car, a nice house, a perfect family. Think Tammy Fay Baker. Anyway, I know plenty of people addicted to exercise and health food that aren’t anywhere close to understanding who they are and who God is in their lives, who loathe themselves, who struggle everyday to feel loved.
One does not automatically follow the other.
Should we take care of our bodies, our eating, anxiety, or narcissism, and seek help for these issues- absolutely. But that does not get you right with God. Neither does getting on a path to spiritual awareness turn you into a swimsuit model.
God, show me what is real, teach me your paths and your ways of peace in my heart, peace in my relationships, peace in the world. I love you (and I drink a little). Amen.