Netflix announced yesterday that it is in early talks about making another “Gilmore Girls: A Year In the Life”. My response was admittedly unenthused after the first one, if they make it, I will probably still watch it, hoping and praying that Rory’s big news at the end will change everything. However, before I do, I need to have an intervention with Rory. This letter from a friend will contain spoilers, so stop reading if you don’t want to know what is happening in Rory’s life.
I thought I would bring some friendly tv faces with me to smooth things over.
I was happy to hear your good news and even happier to hear it wasn’t the wookie. Now that you’re about to become a mother there’s a few things we need to talk about. I think this will be hard for you to hear, but it needs to be said.
You have become everything your mother hoped you wouldn’t. At 15 she was more together and mature than you are at almost 35. Throughout your life she dreamed of raising you without the snobbish privilege that she grew up with, she raised you as a friend and daughter, and wanted the best for you.
Despite her best efforts, you have lived into your full potential as a whinny, entitled woman of privilege. You think just because your mother struggled when she left behind the riches of her family means that you struggled too? No. It that’s not how it works, that’s not how any of this works.
When I met you at 16 you were shy, nerdy, and eclectic. I liked you immediately, but you were sheltered. I thought, “that’s fine, she’ll grow out of it.” I waited through your Chilton years for you to grow up, watching how people manipulated you and tricked you into trouble, you were naive and you learned to adapt, but by becoming them, using manipulation and passive aggressive tactics to get what you wanted.
You became closer to your grandparents, which is nice, but too often you used selfish child-like logic to solve very grown up problems. You could not see that there was a web of people effected by your actions. (I’m home from Yale, where are my movie channels?!? What do you mean sleeping with a married man is bad? He was mine first!)
That’s okay, you were young, but then throughout college you never seemed to mature. You threw fits and acted out in predictable ways, you made problems worse with your grandparents and allowed men to walk all over you. When you needed something you took advantage of the people around you to get it and you surrounded yourself with friends who treated you like dirt just so you could seem like the nice girl.
However, I am not above forgiveness, you were still young and as you went off into the world to be a journalist, I thought that would be your time to grow. We drifted apart, you and I, we hadn’t seen each other in 10 years. When you appeared back in my life I was excited, hopeful, and eager to see how you’d matured. I was disappointed to learn that you hadn’t.
So here it goes. Deep breath- Good God woman, grow up!
You tell me you have a boyfriend but can barely remember his name and string him along because you’re too “important” to break up with him. You’re not busy, you have no job and no life. You whore yourself out to Logan just to have a place to sleep while you “write a book” with a crazy woman. When you attend meetings with editors you are shocked and bewildered because they don’t simply hand over everything you could ever want. (I mean, don’t they know who you are?)
Nobody, you’re nobody.
All the while you’ve left your mother to deal with your grandmother’s grief and instead of coming home to help, you come home and disrupt her life as well. She is dealing with her own problems, she long ago established herself as an adult and is still waiting for you to do so. She’s worried about you. Everyone can see it.
So… you have about 6 months (approximately) left to hear this: GROW! UP!
Stop using and manipulating people. Sure, you learned that from your mom, but she batted her eyelashes for a cup of coffee and to get a broken window fixed. She didn’t walk all over people and then expect them to love you and give you everything anyway.
Stop taking your grandmother or your mother’s money. Get a job. Can’t get a job as a journalist? Then get another job. Stop sleeping with unavailable men because you feel abandoned by your father.
Get a therapist. (I cannot stress this one enough). Get a damn therapist.
You don’t need any more “getaways.” Stop letting people give you things. No more keys to houses in Maine. No more buying you cars or clothes, or renting out an entire bed and breakfast just for a night of fun. Don’t let anyone give you anything unless you’ve earned it, and being pregnant doesn’t mean you’ve earned it.
Look at the world through someone else’s eyes for once. Learn from your mother, don’t just copy her. If you want Logan in your life, then go after him. Just because it was right between your mother and father (remember they were 15/16) doesn’t mean it’s right for you too, you and Logan are grown ass adults, (at least in age.) And if you don’t deem him worthy to be in your child’s life then take a long look in the mirror my friend.
Most of all. It’s time to cut the umbilical cord from your mother. (your therapist can help you do this.) Mothers can’t cut it, we just can’t, you’ll understand in a few months. But when everyone else was doing it in their early 20’s you pretended to (redecorated pool house anyone) and couldn’t follow through, you couldn’t quite do it, you never have become an adult.
So, this is an intervention. I’m here for you, but I’m not going to enable you anymore. You’re no longer cute or charming, your manipulative and entitled and the only way to wash those sins from your life is to make the choice to grow up.
I’ll be here to love you, but until you can show me you’ve learned from your mistakes, I’ll admit I won’t be looking forward to our next meeting.
You’re in my prayers, Shannon
Note after publication: My friend Aaron wrote a letter to Logan, check it out.