Here was our lunchtime conversation.

Lil Pie: I am a robot (in robot voice)
Dear Husband: I remember the day we brought you home from the robot factory
LP: no! I’m not a real robot, I am a little girl, I’m just pretending!
DH: that’s what your programming designed you to think.
LP: no, I was born from mommy’s tummy! (Getting a little upset)
Me: I think Daddy’s going to have to go to time out for lying.
DH: really? Can I? I have to sit on the stairs and no one can talk to me, and then after mommy has to tell me she loves me? This is a win/win!
Me: and if you’re really bad you have to go to your room by yourself and stay there until you are ready to talk about it…

All the good parenting books tell us to walk away when we get overwhelmed. Awesome, they’re right. But I haven’t gone to the bathroom alone in 5 years in what world do I get to say to my child, “I’m going to take a time out” and they NOT follow me to my room?

Time outs for adults, greatest. idea. ever.